And how to change our thoughts
For the last few years, I have been fascinated by the effect of our thoughts in our own life. It started with my own experience. I suffered from depression with suicidal thoughts from the age of 7 and it got worse during my teenage time to its high peak at 21 when I almost took my life. I know… it is a subject that makes people uncomfortable, but this society is full of depressed and anxious people, it needs to be expressed so it can save people from their own misery. Often our own dark journey is here to be the lighthouse for someone about to do the same action… I believe it is important to speak up about it, so here it is!
Luckily after my attempt, I found good support with my family and the strong spiritual education I had during my childhood. Then began the long recovery from my past traumas. One thing I started to realise quickly is that my thoughts were very negative, self-destructive and I always was positioning myself as a victim. I also found out that when I had these negative thoughts patterns, I was attracting some bad experiences in my life (people, environment, choices…). When I now look back at my life, I can see the mechanism behind my own suffering I created (myself) and I learned from it. I have now an opposite life, I feel happy, content, grateful for all the experiences I lived, and I can share them with you today. Don’t get me wrong, I still have those moments where I will feel sad or angry or anxious or scared, but unlike my past, these states of mind don’t stay for long. I acknowledge them, thank them, sometimes let them ‘be’, but I won’t attach importance to them because I deeply know that IT WILL PASS AWAY SOONER OR LATER.
How did I find out thoughts were directly affecting my life so badly?
I had to go through different processes to understand it. Fortunately, we are living in an exciting time and now there are new scientific branches that start explaining this phenomenon. They are quantum physics, Epigenetic, bioenergy… (and probably more). I will talk only about quantum physics and a little bit about epigenetic which I am more familiarized with:
- Quantum physic studies the infinite micro world (infinite small) to understand the macro world (the world we see with our eyes).
- Epigenetic studies genes expression not from a genetic point of view (my mother had breast cancer so I am more likely to have breast cancer = I am a victim, I can’t do nothing about that), but from an environment point of view (I have the gene of breast cancer, however if I change my environment to a healthier one, this gene will not express = I am in power of my life).
In quantum physics, everything is made of frequency. A specific frequency has its own vibration (vibrational signature). Fore example, an apple has a different vibration than an orange because they look and taste differently. It is the same for emotions. Sadness, fear have a denser vibration (low vibration) than an emotion of joy or happiness. So if everything is vibration, our body is also made of vibration and everything that constitute our body is made of different density (bones, blood, cells…) and even our THOUGHTS are vibrational.
Who thinks? Are my thoughts exactly the same to someone else? No…. Therefore it shows how thoughts are a part of ourselves and unique to ourselves.
Quantum physics also explains that during some experiences, when the observer (the physician) is looking at the photons he expects them to act a certain way. He influences the result of the experiment with his own thoughts. Also, when there is no observation, there is Nothing (no photons, no movement, it looks 'empty'- everything is only at a potential state. This is a powerful idea!
Let’s explain that in a simpler way, first everything that is created around us and us included, is made of different level of vibration. Emotions, thoughts are also made of vibration. When there is NO OBSERVATION, it is only at a potential state, which means it does not exist until someone focuses his attention to a result. Only under these conditions it will create a result (maybe not the expected one, but at least a result).
So if I think all the time negatively about myself, if I feel worthless, if I feel a failure, if I feel a victim, my thoughts are vibrating in a certain frequency (quite low), therefore my whole body and everything in my world will vibrate the same way! Because I can only see what I focus ON! So I will attract situation, people, experiences that will enhance my inner thoughts!! CAN YOU SEE IT????
If you want to change your life and be happy, you need to become a different like the observer! Not an observer thinking always negatively about everything, but instead become the observer that will focus on positive results.
Here are some examples:
- If you think you are poor (yes you have no job, yes you have 4 children, yes you are single parent…) you can find all the excuses in the world, as long as you think you are poor, you will be poor! Why??? Because you are continually reminding yourself and others how life is hard how hard it is to feed the family… YOU ARE A VICTIM OF YOURSELF! YOU TRAPPED YOURSELF IN THE SAME PATTERN!!!
- You are too fat! You hate yourself, you look ugly, you are a horrible looking person, people also think you are ugly and fat. You want a perfect body so people will find you attractive, sexy, you will feel loved. But how can people love you if you don’t love yourself first? Your mind and body hear you and interpret: "oh, she is looking at the magazines or at her beautiful friend, she is saying she wants to be the same but strangely her thoughts of hating herself or finding herself ugly are stronger… well ok, we do as she thinks the most: we will make you look ugly and unloved."
You get the idea? We can have an example for anything in life.
The good news is that there are a lot of solutions, but nothing comes without inner work. You need to recreate a new You. You need to transform your old self to a new one more vibrant and joyful and this takes some time because it took you years to create this suffering You and it may take you some time to become this new You. The good news is when you start the work, men you don’t want to look back, you just want to be happier and happier!
o Here are some solutions:
§ Start being aware of your thoughts
§ When aware, tell your mind “yes… I know poor me”, but tell it to stop with love and compassion but with firmness.
§ Find few minutes in the day to just be aware and present in your body, feel your body, appreciate where you are (even if you are at work and you don’t enjoy). Find micro moments in your day to just appreciate, even for few seconds. Do it as often as you can.
§ When you go to bed, thank the day you had (even if it was challenging or stressful). There is always something to be thankful for. You still have your arms, your fingers, your legs? You had food? You looked at the sky and you felt joyful even for a second… anything!
§ When you wake up, same, be thankful for the day to come! It will bring you new experiences, even if some might be challenging, be thankful because you know it will PASS AWAY.
§ Forgive yourself! How many times a day do you beat yourself up because you told off your kid or your colleague, or you were grumpy at your neighbor… Stop ruminating and accept that yes you reacted to a situation, but it’s over, it is time to forgive yourself. The next time you are in the same situation, you will remember and you will act differently.
· You can repeat this mantra, it is very powerful (o Hoponopono) I’m sorry, please forgive me, I love you, thank you.
§ Find a good natural therapy to help you unblocking memories (yoga, meditation, hypnosis… you name it).
§ Start thinking that any situation you are in is a situation for you to grow. The most challenging ones are the best lessons. Maybe you were in a very destructive marriage in the past, and that taught you a lot of lessons that make you feel stronger and maybe you have the ability to help someone in the same situation?
§ Tell yourself: I AM ENOUGH and repeat and repeat and repeat
§ Watch, listen to some motivational speeches, coaches… avoid too much of depressive news, violent movies… especially when you start, it is very powerful to bring us back down.
§ And so on, the list is infinite as we are infinite creators. It is up to you to find the tools that will free yourself from your own suffering!!
There are amazing tools everywhere and when you are ready to change, it means your focus changes therefore you will attract the right therapy/document/tool/person in your life.
And when you start your inner work...
...Welcome on the other side of the Matrix!
The world of happiness, the world of infinite creation and co-creation!